Moments: Edgar

A few weeks ago, I received a message that Edgar had died a few days after a tragic car accident in Fresnillo. He was about 14 years old. At first, I was full of shock and disbelief. It didn't seem real, especially being far removed from it here in the U.S. After a while though, the grief and tears set in as I tried to wrap my head around the fact that mi querido Edgar is gone.

Edgar was one of the kids in our Club ministry, and he was also a part of my academic resource class ÉXITO. The second oldest of four boys, he always had a special place in my heart. He struggled a lot as a student and like most boys, never wanted to lose face. Beneath that tough exterior though was a very tender heart.

One of the hardest parts of Edgar's sudden death is that I don't have the comfort and assurance of knowing he's with Jesus. Edgar heard the Gospel many times over the years and probably accepted it, but did it take root in his heart? From the likes of his recent Facebook posts, he certainly didn't seem to be walking with the Lord these days. What was really in his heart though? Was it callous and closed off to the love of God or full of true faith hidden beneath a season of rebellion? Only God knows.

In a strange way, part of his death is a relief. I used to frequently pray that the Lord would protect Edgar, especially from becoming involved in the (drug) cartel or being a victim of them. I hoped he wouldn't fall into the generational sins that are so embedded in the colonia, like alcoholism and abuse. I don't have to pray or worry about Edgar anymore. The cartel can't get him. He is either experiencing the glory of God, or he's not. If Edgar did know Jesus and his name was sealed in the Book of the Lamb, then maybe his young death was actually a severe mercy that would protect him from worse things.

Ultimately, I choose to trust in God's sovereignty even in the darkness. I pray for Edgar's family, especially for his mom and his older brother Uriel, that God would use this tragedy to draw them back to Himself. I pray that I would have boldness to proclaim the love of Christ to those around me. May the fact that no day is promised not stir me to be paralyzed by fear and sadness, but rather may it stir me to joyful action and to live each day well.